New Year, New Pood and You

I get my protein powder from a vendor off a site on the dark web that I’m contractually not allowed to tell you where. I also can’t say exactly what’s in it, but I will say it’s a potent combination of more or less of beef, chicken, pig, pig snout, pig hooves, cow hooves, cow tail, cow liver, chicken feet, chicken beaks, chicken eggs, pig placenta, pig ribs, cow bones, wishbones, chicken bones, and crickets.

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There’s Something in the Food

If food is alive, what food does food eat to stay alive? If food is alive, is it still morally acceptable, kosher even, for humans to eat that food? Is a live cookie the whole of the thing, or is it the sum of its live dough and live chocolate chips? Does a cake’s life begin from scratch, from the first cracked egg, the first swish of the wooden spoon, or is it somewhere in the oven when the baking powder dances with the flour and rises up to life?

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Ombra Mai Fu (Part 1)

“When my mother cooked us pasta for dinner, she spent hours, sometimes the whole day, making sure the sauce and the vegetables or meats were perfect, but never once made her own pasta from scratch, ‘because it took too much time.’ I never understood this about her, until she finally explained it to me one day. ‘It’s the sauce that has to be perfect,’ she said. ‘It’s the pasta’s job to get the sauce to your mouth. In a perfect world the pasta would be perfect too, but it’s not a perfect world, so all the pasta has to do is be not terrible.’ To me, the music is the sauce, and opera is the pasta that gets the sauce to your mouth.”

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